


Daily Writing

by RedRat



Series: Redamancy (a comic under the works) [1]
Category: No Fandom
Genre: Daily prompt, No Plot/Plotless, Random & Short, prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28014312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedRat/pseuds/RedRat
Summary: It's never more clear to write for me than the mornings. It's not linear but still important for my future comic story. Here are where I will put daily drabbles that get right to the good parts, no set-ups.
Series: Redamancy (a comic under the works) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2051913





	1. Nikki's writing hobby

She has stacks on stacks of papers scattered everywhere in her room. They're an assortment of journal entries, poems about fables, news/magazine clippings, collages, and least of all- bullet journal pages. Nikki loves making lists- things to watch, read, smell, do, avoid, likes, dislikes. Her writing is cursive-y and rushed style:

_Smells I Relax to: peppermint, lavender, eucalyptus_

_To Do Today: finish homework (was due last week), buy new shoes, ask dad for a music speaker for birthday, today room a bit (I know you hate doing it, do it anyway!!!)_

_Horoscope from this old magazine I found said to avoid: small arguments, petty people, sunlight without sunscree_ _n_

There are pages with a couple of sentences on them about dreams and people:

_Last night I dreamt of an alligator latching onto the hand of a giant. It death rolled a finger. The index one_

_Lost teeth, entered a mirror, could only see from left eye_

_Queen Solluna is very kind and helpful, s_ _he doesn't get mad at me as much as she should_

_Her beauty radiates and her words heal_.

There's pages fully scribbled on about hurt and anger- not legible.

Half sheets about Eric:

_He's passionately tired, itching to react, dreamiest eyes I ever seen_

_Most intense gaze I've ever seen. He sleeps for 4 hours and drinks 6 cups of coffee. He showers but his hair remains unkept_

_His room is fairly clean but his bathroom is a disorganized mess. He appears out of it but he's the smartest person I know_

_He reads and reads and reads- about stars, nature, weather, tarot, music theory, history. I want to make out with him so bad, but he can't make up his mind about me._

About Andre:

_Should have I stayed? Have I ruined myself? No matter how many times I insist I'm doing great,_

_he smiles the same smile he's always given me and reassures me that he's still here for me whenever I'm ready again._

_He knows I'm not doing great, but I'm definitely not ready either. How long left do I have? Will he ever fall out of love?_

_This is so selfish of me. I want him to be happy but he would have to let me go._

_Do I want that?_

She can't imagine throwing away any of her papers. She stuffs them in boxes under her bed or closet until she stumbles upon them again, and reminisces. If it was a random list of words, she is more inclined to chuck it the second round. The notes she comes across again about the men in her life she contemplates and admits nothing has changed. She collects those types of missing papers and treats them like secrets. They're stored away in a special locked box hidden underneath her floorboard, never repeated.


	2. Andre's heart is too big

I love her more than all the stars in the sky, more than the number of snowflakes blowing in a blizzard. I love her so much it hurts when she doesn't understand it. Why is it strange to absolutely know the person you're going to be with your entire life already so young? I only dated her for a short time. How do I know?

Well, you're my first love and there's no one in the world like you. Why make things so complicated, baby? You know me, sweetheart. Keep it short and simple, exactly like all the times I will say I love you in our future.

Or I would if you weren't thinking so hard on it, breaking us off, and messing around with another. It's a waste of time being with that fucking idiot but I know telling you this won't help. I can't do anything but wait it out and reminding you I'm still here waiting. Sometimes you catch me around and we talk like we always do. It's my fault for making this normal. I have to pretend I'm a good _friend_. Every second you ramble about your day, I'm fighting this relentless urge to flip the table and yell at you that _I don't fucking want to be your fucking friend- it's torture._ There would be no reciprocation, no breakdown of yours that you want the same thing. You would collect composure and tell me to calm down, that this is the way things should be for now, and I won't want to hear it. I cry easily when I talk to you and I hate it. I have my father's habit of giving my heart away. I can't ask for it back, it's yours forever and you don't even believe me. 

I know I deserve better, that I should try to move on, and maybe that means moving out of the country and changing my identity. I could throw myself at someone new and fake being happy until maybe I am. But I'm pathetic as fuck for letting you have such a hold on me. It would be the final nail to the coffin if I swear you off for good, I won't be able to bear it.

I will forgive you a hundred times and blame everyone else but you ... but I'm not the one with commitment issues, am I? I can't be if I'm the pathetic one.


End file.
